So I went out onto the streets, and then I met this guy. He wore glasses, so I guessed that he was one of those new-fangled kids who knew the computer and hardly found the time to go out and play which would explain why he was so pale, really, and so I went up to him and smiled and asked: "Will you teach me the ways of the internet."

So then he smiles a little odd smile and says "For twenty an hour" and I thought it was pretty cheap and said yes so we went to an internet cafe and he sat next to me while I double-clicked the blue e icon.

"Internet Explorer," he says in some disgust, and I look at him and think: this is what he will be all his life, bitter & remorse & jobless but then he looks back at me and in his eyes I see that he thinks I am going to pounce on him, or something, but it makes no sense since only leopards & tigers & lions pounce, not a battle-weary, fifty-year-old woman wearing stilettos.